Sunday, September 28, 2008

What To Do When A Wart Bleeds

What's Wrong With The Rice

single, over thirty and stable partner ... What you think is the phrase most often hear in the context of your social life?. Exactly: " That you miss the rice! "

In fact, most of the time, your subtle" sixth sense "knows the true meaning of these words, which, far from being well meaning, contain a curse: " You, follows. Go on, go back to sleep until late. Continues to make wonderful trips in September, instead of getting back to school. Independent on with your life and your cultural tastes. Continue your career and busy social life that ... because ... soon you will pay dearly. You can never be a mother! Ja, ja, ja, jaaaaaaaaaaaaaa "

I said that to me," maternal instinct "goes far beyond the mere fact bear your own children. A child can care for a friend all afternoon, putting the best of itself: your money, your time, your creativity, your soul ... Protecting it with his life if necessary. But with the exception that, that night, you sleep through the night and her mother. I remember an interview

Lucia Bosé, in which he said something that surprised me. She, against political correctness in a mother said, one's family, their parents and siblings, not children. One, as a parent, is the family of their children, but not vice versa. Furthermore, telling the story of how the doctor who attended at every delivery, he always said the same phrase: "You just put a stranger at home. "

Nobody dares to say that a newborn baby, blood in your blood, is a stranger, but in reality, it is. A new little person with their flaws, their character and their incompatibility with the other person you are. Hence, my little cousin asking embarrassing her mother: "Mom , and if I have a son and upsets me, what do I do?" Given this predicament, there was only one, innocent and predictable answer: " is that this is impossible, could never happen. "

overcome the taboo, one can afford to explore other possibilities, such as the adoption ... if he has no partner. And, do not forget that, if we are the maternal instinct, for theirs is the interest that their genes are perpetuated for eternity:

- Hey, honey, you adopt a child.
- To adopt?
- If a child without birth, cesarean sections and stretch marks ...
- Pueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss ... I do not know ... I had raised. But if having a child is a blessing! All efforts are reassuring to the final.
- Ya, sure. But imagine that he could not "would adopt?
- Bueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenoooooooooooooo. I guess so.
- Imagine: A chinita, or Rusita, or a child of the Sahara ...
- What could it be here?
- Sure. But imagine it took several years and there are none. "Would adopt?
- guess so ...
- Or several ... like Brad Pit and Angelina Jolie ... Note that diversity of cultures within a single family! And how cute that in the magazines!
- Okay, okay ... but first we tried us ...
- Go! I was afraid! There goes the vein of "male alfa ”!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

What To Do With Very Dry House

My Amiga Lesbian

No voy a negar que, conocer que mi amiga Conchita (miss urbanización con piscina en las afueras) ahora vivía en Chueca y que, su pareja era otra mujer, fue difícil de asimilar. No por su condición sexual, sinceramente, si no, porque, si ella, musa de todos los hombres en mi juventud, se cambiaba de acera, ¿No se cimbrearían los cimientos en los que se apoyaba la heterosexualidad del resto del grupo de amigas?

Parece ser que, la última vez que “ se encontró a sí misma ”, había decidido que vivir en el centro de la ciudad, era lo más cómodo, y “salir out ", which would restore the essence of what it really was. Well, something told me.

just dismissed her and her partner. The two had been "to bug" that day, more than anything, to introduce her to yours. Now, going to visit an art exhibition. "The bug" is an architect of prestige. Both of them are in love with this kind of thing.

- Poor Conchita!
- Why do you say that?
- Puesssssssssssssssssss, I do not know. For his new life.
- What's wrong? - For a moment I feared the comments of my manly and attractive "medium oranges" .-
- Puesssssssssssssssssss, I do not know. You can not have children of their own family, for example. I guess I always will be much more satisfying to produce a son of the person you share life.


Creature! Men always determined to think that the "maternal instinct " refers to wanting to give birth the children of your partner, when it is much more than that. It is an instinct to protect the small, the helpless, we are defenders of the "future", the "morning" rests in our hands ... I do not have to see how a new mother dog, for example, is able to nurse kittens as were his, embedded for her "maternal instinct." A woman does not need to be a mother giving birth, but they never accept it because they would lose their role as fathers-begotten.

- Well and why ... always give more balance to the couple who has a man and a woman ... polar opposites, complementary ...

By God! I'm not sure this topicazo who invented this nonsense? Does this mean that the more opposed, more attractive? Why then are no sparks in the street when you cross a squat and aggressive executive who returns from pilates? Or a bullfighter and a bullfighting? Or a farmhand with Ana Rosa Quintana?. It would seem best as possible? Also ... What's that complements? I will not be complementary, preferably, to strengthen me in the part that I have.

My boyfriend takes time talking to himself.

- By the way, what time is it?
- Nine Why?
- For today plays the Madrid ... Go! I will not go home with the match started ...


I can not believe it! Again! Did not realize these soccer harm done to the English families and married life? And ... as my grandmother: "You are grown men playing the ball in shorts. Do not feel ashamed, yet there is to do in the world? Could not do anything worthwhile? "

While telling me the details of the game, I turn my head. Conchita and his girlfriend up the street to the Circle of Fine Arts, embraced ... While away, I imagine it would be like having a partner to take me to see an art exhibition and then to dinner, passing football, with your same tastes, with whom he could change your clothes, accessories, makeup, with its own bag where to put the CD's that were just purchased, you do not mind shopping with you, advise you with sincerity what I try not to go as soon as the store that knows your taste like a woman ...

is clear. Conchita has always been one step ahead of the rest ...

Monday, September 1, 2008

Boston Marathon Jacket For Sale

All in the Same Boat We have to take care

The arrival of this mysterious message from Pepi, Human Resources, summoned to a conference on "Knowledge and Coexistence " of the company, was the beginning of everything. We were pioneers, several groups had already lived the experience, but this time was different. The message said: "The group activity is held outdoors, it is advisable to wear comfortable clothes and do not mind that stain, and if you want and you can use swimsuit dare you. " And this was disturbing me ...

In vain did my message to elicit information Pepi: "Hello Pepi: I'd like to know what you mean with the clothes: Will be able to wash afterwards or you may be spoiled? greetings. " Impossible, it was a tomb. So, I became convinced that it would "open season" for the use of the hotel pool and have some evidence on the dynamics of groups that need a volunteer to get into the pool. Although the idea that my colleagues see me in a bikini I was unattractive, (everybody knows that the first bath Summer is a bit traumatic) got into my bag one. Then I thought, it was better to get two, and later that it was no carry bikini without wearing a towel, a bag and a sundress.

Once there during lunch, they told us pusiésemos the "casual." I must clarify that, "casual shoes" was silent. I kept with my strategy know more about the uncertain future that awaited us and asked if he had to Pepi towel. "I do not think, but just in case take her." Nothing, no way. So, I decided to wear a bikini under your clothes and put in the bag towel, bikini Replacement and sundress, with risk of ending up looking foolish sovereign, it was the only one who had.

Our activities were a "gymkhana" in the canoeing club Aranjuez, near the River. I, who never imagined that I had brought platform sandals, all suitable for walking on the banks of a river. I thought if I hooked a tick and gave me a fever of those lousy, at least, be considered an occupational disease and decided to "bite the bullet."

Everything was perfect until he had to ride in the canoe. They took a lot of life-saving vests and I changed me face. Do not worry, you have to do much the Indian for tipping the canoe!, Said one monitor. The problem was that of India, and we were! The theme of the game that was. I hesitated between the colors of the jackets had, but finally I chose one practice and adult life jackets, the last remaining, although it was wet. Going to get into the canoe, when I had a vision of myself swimming in the river with those sandals and decided to take them off.

Well ... whole group in their jobs ... Wait! At the last minute, we added a crew member. It was the Indian Chief Antúnez, director of human resources willing to coordinate efficiently. "Come on! Faster! Do you torcéis! Come! ... Should be addressed to the canoe! "At the turn of the trail, great idea:" Let's make a run "(big mistake! ..) Very well, then there we prepared together with our partners looking as if were crazy, ahead of a canoe to another, growing increasingly ... until ... suddenly ... appears across the bank branch left and we will direct it my God. Some say that at a time like this you spend your life from beginning to end, but I could only think of the wedding that was that Saturday and that if the industry would cross my face to look like "the Christ of the Lanterns." Or more sophisticated makeup would get me out of this. I tried to dodge it by pressing my face into the body of my friend getting ready to suffer the impact ... but ... oddly, the impact was not against the branch, if not, against the water! With my vest "adult", fell into the water like a cat, not wet my head, like a buoy. Despite the cloudy water and soupy (it was still June), which worried me slightly, I felt immensely happy my face had not been damaged! I was saved for reading with your head held high, at the wedding!

Once the initial euphoria, we began to assess the damage, my partner Leticia, in an act of survival, had to choose between saving and flat shoes or glasses, even though the glasses are a unique design, saved the manoletinas! Because ... dear colleagues, at this critical moment, the material is irrelevant. Carlos opened his wallet, which could see a picture of their children and a few bills, dripping ... And worse! The face of trouble on a monitor, bailing water and NEVER saying something had happened.

the end, each and every one of the forecasts I made, I served for something. Come on, that had there been a award for "Best meiga" I would have taken me no doubt.

Some blamed Isidoro Antúnez of what happened. It seems that having someone standing in the back of the boat, dodging a large branch, is incompatible with it stays afloat. I, uneducated naval, I can not say in the matter. What if I say is: in a business project, in which there is a working group composed of multidisciplinary staff (eight rowers) from all directions of the company, with an ambitious goal (being the first), which sticks upside unexpected (and therefore), wasting resources (rowing) to follow him, being inaccessible their place of work (canoe), and immersed in a hostile environment future black (rather than black, green. Tajo Verde) where you feel helpless Something will have to say about the Human Resources Director! (Come on, tell me.)